Damn Karma
by True Thinker
Summary: Blue eyes is normal. Dark green isn't. Pale peachy skin is normal. Tanned skin isnt. Blonde hair is normal. Reddish-brown hair isn't. A mole underneath your left eye isnt normal either. Well at least not in Amestris. But it wasn't normal back home either. But at least back home is familiar. The only thing that's the same here is Karma. But she is just being a bitch, like always...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, this story is about a girl. And two boys. The girl can rap. The boys can do science. And finally. Karma is a bitch. Thank You.**

Well this is just plain stupid. I mean seriously? First A:TLA (which was awesome) then Charmed (which was also awesome) and now this? (Which is still probably going to be awesome) but seriously. This was getting tiring! Thanks to A:TLA I could bend all elements and thanks to Charmed I was a witch and I could freeze time and explode things. I didn't need the power of premonition as I already knew nearly everything that was going to happen in each programme, but I could kick some serious ass with martial arts. I move things with my mind (squint my eyes and look creepy, sorry Prue, and move stuff with my hands). I could also orb in and out of situations and I could orb objects in and out as well. Which, by the way, can become very useful! But for some stupid reason I couldn't heal. Anyway. I think that was enough of an intro.

'Hey Somper, u on the train yet?'

'No, why?'

I laughed, remembering that James Somper, one of my best friends and crushes when I was 11, always used the proper language, called everyone sir and madam, but completely racist to everyone who used to go on the same train (all Asians), which I found hilarious as he was a redhead! One time I even gave him a matchbox for his birthday!

_'Im on mine & im rly bored!'_

_'Oh, that's a shame! How's life?'_

I laughed again because for the whole of the last two years the only question I had ever asked was: _How's life?_

_'Thats my usual line. But gd. How bout u?'_

_'Good. How's school?'_

I smiled. Same old polite Somper over text. But who knew what he would be saying now in person! Probably a racist joke about the

Chinese and Indians...

"We will shortly be arriving in **Manchester Piccadilly, **change here for Birmingham New Street thankyou!" I cursed the 10 minute train journey and quickly texted Somper back.

_'Sorry! Manch. Will txt u soon. Probly 2moro coz I got loads of hw 2nite but I will txt u if I need help in German! ;P bye! '_

My heart was thumping. I has just lied. Not just to anyone. To Somper. One of my best friends. I raced off the train and out of the station and walked straight into a wall.

"What the freakin fadoodle cakes!?" I screeched.

"For God's sake Mari, get your ass of the ground and onto the bus seat!" I looked around to see Dave, my regular bus driver, for 96 bus that stopped outside my house. Dave was 20, only 2 years younger that my older sister and going to the same school as her made us quite close, so me and Dave treated each other like siblings.

"Daaaaaaave!" I wailed, my eyes watering up. I ran at him closing my eyes trying to hug him, but Dave being Dave, dodged and I landed on the horn and it honked really loudly.

"OW! You asshole!" Behind me Dave was laughing his tear sacs empty! **(A/N this really happened but my bus drivers name is Dan. Not Dave. But I always thought Dan looked like a Dave!) **

"For that you owe me a free ticket!"

"I always give you a free ticket!"

"I know!"

"Then what are we arguing about?!"

"I DONT KNOW!"

"THEN SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!"

"OKAY!" I walked a little way down and saw my bffps' ( best friend from primary school) exboyfriend in the nearest to the door chair.

"Hey Justin! Get out my seat!"

"No"

"Okay!" And with that I froze time, orbed him upstairs of the bus on this old lady and sat down on his seat.

Unfreezing time, I yelled, " Sorry m'am! But don't think you can sue me coz I'm broke!" Dave gave a sweatdrop kinda face.

"You did it again didn't you?" I looked around innocently whistling.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about..."

"..."

"..."

"Devil child."

"Uh, no. Witch."

"Imma start driving now..."

"You do that." Dave closed the doors and moved the stick shift-thingy-ma-bobby.

As soon as we stopped outside my drive, I stood up and dinged the dingy thing and dinged it repeatedly.

"FOR GOD SAKE MARI! JUST GET OFF THE HOLY FUCKING BUS!"

"Roger that Creepy-Ass-Hobo!"

"What the-"

"Bye-bye now, bye-bye!" I said waving like in Aladdin. The regulars on the bus cheered. Justin put the middle finger up at me from the upstairs and the non-regulars made the infamous 'wtf?!' face. I ran to my house and forgot about the door.

"AWE FUCK! Why. Does. There. Need. To. Be. A. Door. Where. I. Am. Going. To. Walk. Through!" Opening the door and cursing the guy who invented them, I zoomed up the stairs, making the 'brr brr brrrooooomm' sound as I went up the stairs to my room and plonked on the bed. Me being me (aka super lazy) changed into my PJs and plonked onto my bed sighing as I remembered the text I sent to Somper. I didn't have any homework, so why did I say that? _Ah! Screw thinking. That's for nerds...skipping breakfast and lunch is a BAD idea! It makes you tired, sleepy and tired..._

I opened my eyes, you know , expecting what every girl expects to wake up to: screaming mum, someone in the shower, 24 year old brother walking around in a women's bathrobe with his short hair wrapped up in a bright pink towel. Okay maybe not pink, but that was certainly what I expected to wake up to!

**(A/N no joke.) **

"The heck... That is the last time I dream about purple ponies…"

"...The f*ck have you been smoking?" I looked behind me.

"KARMA! BUDDY! WASSUP?!" I shrieked at the tall beautiful women with long dark hair.

"SHUT THE F*CK UP! YOU'RE GIVING ME A F*CKING MIGRAINE!"

"...Bitch…"

"Anyway, your power has risen _way too much,_ **again,** so-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

"-you will be going into-"

"-OOOOOOOOOO-"

"-THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!"

"-OOOOOO- wait what? The original? 'Coz then I'll end up in WWII and then I'll be Great gran's best friend. Also Rose is a bitch in that one."

"F*cking idiot. No, you're going into the 2nd version one, 'coz then it'll end properly."

"I've been meaning to ask you, why is there always a star when you swear instead of a 'U'? You swear so much I can't believe that you've put up the 'Child protection'" I did the finger quote thingies, " around the 'U'!"

"Just shut up and take your stupid magic black bag!"

"Thankyou!" I reached out for the small black beaded bag, and yes in my spare time I steal from Hermione in The Deathly Hallows.

"So, as FMA is messed up what am I giving up, to travel to worlds it takes like one quarter of my power as it is."

"You'll be giving up half this time, although you power grows at such an enormous rate you probably gain it back in the world of alchemy."

"...sweet." I grinned creepily and Karma sweatdropped. "Oh, are the sweatdrops back? The vein ticks too? Oh my god, will I see Armstrong sparkle? Is he gonna be like Edward Cullen? I don't recommend that movie…. Urgh! But the graphic novel is awesome! Its just like manga! It's so coo-" Karma acquired a rather large vein tick during my babble, which unfortunately I failed to notice. Using her power she flung me through a wooden door into what looked like the galaxy, and glided in after me.

"SCREW YOU KARMA! WHAT EVERYONE SAYS IS TRUE! YOU REALLY ARE A BITCH!...WAIT! WILL I FIND LOVE? YOU HAVE TO TELL ME! LAST TIME I FOUND LOVE I HAD TO DITCH HIM, AND THAT SUCKED! KARMA?! CAN YOU HE-

"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE I CAN HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR! Just go to Truth already!"

"...Well I feel loved" I sighed, sarcastically.

"You should." Karma said before waving me off and going back where she came from.

_What door number Karma?_ I said turning around to see over a million stone doors. _Karma I know you can hear me, so just suck it up AND TELL ME WHICH DAMN DOOR IT IS! _I yelled inside my head. _The number you have called is out of the area._ _Oh crap, am I out of the area? Oh god, I don't have singal, well looks like I'm on my own…_ I drifted over to the door labeled **6** and opened it.

Everyone was by a pool.

"Are you two behaving?"

"Uhhh….. Yes ma'am!"The two boys squeaked.

"Ahh! Gray looks SO handsome in a swimsuit!" A blue haired girl gushed behind a pillar.

"He looks no different from usual Juvia." A black-haired buff guy with metal studs up his nose said.

"Aye, Sir" A FLIPPING BLUE CAT!

"Yeah Gray, you look good in that swimsuit!" A blonde chick said.

"ROMANTIC RIVA-" I slammed the door shut.

"Ooops… wrong door…" I opened door number 7.

It was white. Everywhere. I grinned. _This looks more like it! _I shut the door and felt it dissolve behind me.

I ran fowards and kicked the white figure.

"Y-you can see me?" I deadpanned.

"No, I was just practicing my karate in my slee- OF COURSE I CAN!"

"Well well. Look what we have he-"

"Just cut the crap! Look, Karma was in a bad mood today and being horrible so just take my ever-growing power and let me go through!"

"Awe…. I wanted to say my epic speech…"

"Dude. I don't care!"

"I am one and I and all. I'm a refelection of y-"

"Geez dude, just take me already!"

"...party-pooper…"

"I LOVE YOU TOO!" I shrieked as black tenticles dragged me in the portal.

I saw pain, history, happiness and sorrow. I looked at everything head on wondering when it was going to be finished.

Then I was very rudely smacked onto something very hard.

"OW! FUCK! TRUTH YOU ASSHOLE! YOU JUST _HAD _TO DROP ME ON SOMETHING HARD!" Crickets chirped. I looked up.

"Shit." Its was the fucking state alchemist's exam.

"Young lady, are you here for the exam?"

"Uh, sure, that works." I clapped my hands, ignoring the piece of chalk on the ground and pushed them to the ground. _I know I was an asshole to you just now Truth, but please help me out right now!_ ...and then alchemy was performed.

"...Truth. You. Fucking. MORON!"

**TRUTH YOU MORON!**

**Truth: What'd I do?**

**Me: EXACTLY! WE DONT KNOW YET!**

**Truth: OKAY THEN!**

**Me: I DONT OWN ANYTHING!**

**Everyone else: WE KNOW YOU IDIOT!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Well, there is absolutely no point in this A/N so... On with the story!**

I sweat dropped, vein ticked and dead panned all at the same time as I realised that the führer had been judging the examination. Well Truth being the ass that he is, helped my transmutation along! In front of me was an enormous moving statue of Führer King Bradley with a blonde afro wig doing the McDonalds abbreviation of the 'Macarena', his mouth wide open. Out of his mouth came a large booming noise of: "Hamburger, Cheeseburger, lettuce, tomato. Hamburger, Cheeseburger, lettuce, tomato. Hamburger, Cheeseburger, lettuce, tomato. Heeeeeeeeeeeeey Mozzarella! Hey!" Then it jumped 90° and started all over again. And then suddenly I was on my knees with my head to the ground and my hands either side of my head yelling,

"I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT! I KNOW I CAN'T BE KILLED BUT IT HURTS LIKE HELL WHEN PEOPLE TRY AND EXECUTE ME! I'M SO SORRY!" Then I heard a laugh. I looked up and did my famous: Sweatdrop-Veintick-deadpan combo face. The fucking Führer was laughing his head off! Wrath! The person who had no emotion but anger was laughing! That pissed me off! How could he act so good? I made a mental note to ask him about that later, coz drama GCSE is NOT easy!

"Good luck with the rest of your examination! I hope you pass! " Bradley yelled and walked off. And like a complete idiot I said,

"What? My GSCEs?"

_**No, you idiot! He's talking about the state alchemists exam!**_

_Truth! You're ALIVE!_

_**Oh for the love of- just find Mustangs office!**_

And just like my mother would do, I laughed crazily and walked out. The sound of the McDonald's macarena still went on.

"I DUNNO HOW TO TURN THAT OFF! SORRY!" I screeched back.

_Kay, Truth! Lead the way!_

_**Get the lift and go to the 2nd floor then its the second door to the left down the straight-**_

I giggled.

_**-corridor.**_

_Kay, buddy thanks! Oh by the way, are you gay or straight?_

_**How can I be gay? I'm an it. Its kinda hard to find another it, forget finding another truth. And I can't be straight either. I'm an it. Okay? An i-**_

_Okay, okay, I got it. Shut up! Uhh... Right, right?_

_**LEFT you idiot, LEFT! **_

_Don't yell at me! You are me, so therefore if you yell at me and I get a headache, so will you!_

_**...damn logic...**_

"Yo! Musty!" I yelled flinging the door open. Okay, NOT my best move. Men. Naked. Everywhere. In showers.

"OH MY FUCKING GAWD! THAT IS DISGUSTING! HAVE A LITTLE MODESTY SOLDIERS! YOU WILL PUT ON CLOTHES WHEN A SUPERIOR VISITS FROM THE SOUTH!" I screeched, shutting the door hoping they wouldn't remember my face when they wrote their reports...

_**I SAID LEFT! URGH! Scarred. For. Life. **_

_Oooh... That must suck considering that you are endless!_

_**IT DOES!**_

_Second times a charm!_

_**Wait, the Elrics are in there! *smirk* let's have some fun with this!**_

_*smirk* I like how I think!_

_***smirk* Ditto**_

I walked through the door with a timid look on my face my eyes wide.

"Excuse me? I'm looking for my brothers..." Hawkeye stood up.

"Oh, hello! Are you looking for someone?"

"Uhm... Yeah, my brothers!"

"Oh, what's your name?"

"Marissa Ronald Weasley Thomas Jefferson Harry Potter Santa Claus Ryan Lewis Macklemore-"

_**That's enough.**_

"Van Hoeinheim Elric" Hawkeye's eyes were wide as I was gasping for breath.

"Elric?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that and my middle names, you know, Ronald Weasley Thomas Jefferson Harry Potter Santa Claus Ryan Lewis Macklemore Van Hoenheim" I smiled at her warily raised eyebrows.

"Uh, I'm going to have to sort all these books into piles!" Clap. Light. Piles. Badaboom. Badabing.

"Huh, hey! Its Ed and Al!" Hawkeye walked past me and walked up to the Elrics.

"Welcome back boys! The Colonel is expecting y-"

_**Mari! Go into his office while her back is turned!**_

I slipped in.

"Fullmeta- who are you?" I crossed my arms

"Rude. You can't even recognise your own daughter?"

"Oh, sorry. ...wait. What?!" The door was flung open.

"Fullmetal! I see your back!"

"Yeah...Who's that?" I sighed

"Your sister and Roy's daughter but I prefer to keep my mothers last name!"

"..."

"My name is...MarissaRonaldWeasleyThomasJeffersonHarryPotterSantaClausRyanLewisMacklemoreVanHoenheimElric" this time I hadn't lost as much breath and didn't look like a deflated flamingo!

"..."

"No, I'm joking, I fed that lie to Hawkeye and she sort of believed me... He he... Yeah I'm the...uhh..."

_**Uhh...think of a band or something!**_

"The One Directio- urgh! No! Why did I even say that?! The Clean bandit? Nah... I got it! The Pentatonix Alchemist! Yeah, Kirstie is my older step cousin so I'm sure she wouldn't mind! Scott and Mitch have known me my whole life and Kevin and Avi are really nice!"

The Elrics and Mustang just stood there completely confused.

"Oh yeah, you guys are too old for this kinda stuff! Here I'll show you!" I dug around inside the small black beaded bag and pulled out an iPod and played it.

_'You know what to do with that big fat butt, _

_Wiggle wiggle wigg-'_

"He he... Wrong track"

_'Its so hard when people knock you down-'_

My finger was held down on the fast forward.

_' Fat, cat crushing._

_Here we go back this is the moment_

_Tonight is the night,_

_We'll fight till its over,_

_So we put our hands up_

_Like the ceiling can't hold us!_

_Like the ceiling can't hold u-'. _I plugged my army headphones into the iPod and and stuffed one of them into my ear.

"Yeah I was just lying about that name, but I legit just passed the state thingy-ma-bobby test and was told to come here!"

"R-right..." Al stammered.

"Okay, maybe I was lying about that too... But I still just passed!"

"..."

"Okay that was a lie too..." _Truth?_

_**What?**_

_Uhm, whens the written part of the Exam? _

_**...want me to delete it from the story?**_

_Yes please!_

_**Fine... **__**The written part of the exam is- **__**happy?**_

_Yes. Thankyou...Have I passed now?_

_**Oh for the love of crack pot noodles, I dunno! Wait and see...**_

_Fine..._

A loud bang sounded in the other room and a soldier rushed in.

"Ha...ha...ha...is Marissa Ronald Wesley Thomas Jefferson Harry Potter Santa Claus Ryan Lewis Macklemore Van Hoenheim Elric here?"

_Wow... The news of my fake name travels round fast..._

"Yeah...Is the Führer angry that I mocked him?"

"Huh? No. He has just signed your name and and told me to deliver your pocket watch!"

"Oh. Thanks! And tell him I'm really sorry about the moving statue..." And with that, the soldier left. I look at the certificate and started doing the McDonald's macarena.

"Ha hamburger cheeseburger lettuce tomato, hamburger cheeseburger lettuce tomato, hamburger cheeseburger lettuce tomato, heeeeeeeeeeeeey mozzarella! Wooooohoooo! Truth you are amazing! I love ya so much! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!"

Mustang reached down to pick up the piece of paper and read aloud.

"...The name of the Pentatonix alchemist to Marissa Ronald Weasley Thomas Jefferson Harry Potter Santa Claus Ryan Lewis Macklemore Van Hoenheim Elric."

"Boom! That's right Elric! I'm better than you! Ooosh!"

"..."

"Oh BTW, I have never liked Edward. I like Alphonse." I said attempting a glomp on Alphonse, but smashing my nose in the process. While having a bloody nose I smirked at Ed's open mouth.

_**Why do you hate the other version of me?**_

_Who? Ed?_

_**Yeah**_

_He's an ass. Al's gone through way more than he'll ever know!_

_**Oh**_

"So am I sleeping in the bloody barracks tonight?"

"Uhm... Yeah. Sure. Fullmetal, take Miss Elric to the-"

"NO! Nonononononono. No way. Not him. No."

"Fine then. Al-"

"Hang on!"

"What?!"

"Can I work for you?"

"...uhh, sure. But can you just leave now?!"

"Sure thang!" I said, linking arms with Al and walking out the door, with Ed trailing behind us, and through the second room and into the corridor. Suddenly unlinking arms I turned around to the brothers.

"Don't put me into a mental hospital."

"What?" I breathed in deeply.

"MynameisMarissaYusefandmyfriendscallmeMari. *breathe* I'm fromthefutureandanotherdimensionandiknowthatyoudidhumantransmutationandiknowwhatAlisandIknowyourpastandyourfuture. *breathe* Andfinally... I know your past, present and future, but telling you would endanger you, and I can't do that because-"

"You fell in love with an Elric..." That whisper echoed out from the walking trash can **(A\N*headdesk**headdesk**headdesk* must not be cruel to Amy's future husband) **, and Ed blushed

"Wha-? Al yo-! Gah!"

I frowned, "Al...? No, WTF...? I was going to say: I can't do that because Truth would kill me, if you guys died..." But it was Al's turn to put on the frowny tone.

"Brother, do you remember when we were little, you were about five, I was four. That lady was asleep on the bench, we woke her up and she pushed us on the swings, telling us a story?"

"...*frown*No..." I frowned, what the fack was gaing an?

"She then said to us: 'Be careful, some stories come true...' Then she walked off and then we yelled at her: 'Come back! How do you know?' Then she turned around took a deep breath, voiced jibberish then said: Andfinally...I know your past, present and future, but telling you would endanger you, and I can't do that because I fell in love...With an Elric...' And then faded away into the scenery..."

I stared at the ceiling. Sometimes, after the story played out, I would be sent back to the childhoods or future lives, sometimes both, of the main protagonists. Karma allowed this for me to get closure. But could I have really fallen in love with an Elric? ...ew...

_**Ew...**_

**Ew...**

_Omg, Karma?! Is that your slimy ass I hear? NOW you decide to show up? ...bitch..._

**In a matter of rude speaking, yes it f*cking well is.**

_You gurl, are in a for a shit load of yelling at! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME?!_

**...uh oh...**

_**...FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!**_

**A\N my friend died of cancer today. Rest in Peace Kieran. So did my friend Graces little brother. Yesterday. He was paralysed from the neck down. Rest in Peace Cuba (nickname). And this is why the ending is so crap...**

**True Thinker**


End file.
